One Step Foward, One Step Back
by MaryRussellgrl
Summary: Sara sees life as a waistland. If only someone could show her happiness.


Grissom ran towards the building after hearing the gunshots. Brass beat him to the door kicking it open he went in. Grissom held his breath thinking about leaving me and Greg inside to collect evidence. He heard pained moaning as Brass walked through stopping to get his radio as he looked into the living room.

"Clear!" He called

Grissom ran in seeing the scene that he feared most. The intruder lay on the carpeted floor moaning in pain as he held his leg which was bleeding. Greg laid on the floor obviously unconscious bleeding on the head from a nick. I stood with my gun drawn pointing it at the place the man stood. Brass walked over to me.

"Sara, stand down."

I didn't hear him as he reached up taking the gun from my hands. He then walked over to Greg calling for help. Grissom walked over to me looking at the man.

"He….was trying to shoot Greg!" I said

"It's okay Sara." He said, gently.

I shook looking at Greg then the man.

"Arrest her!" The man yelled

"Shut up!" Brass shouted, as he walked over taking the man's gun.

I felt rage and walked over to hit the man, but Grissom pulled me back taking me outside. I sat on the ground leaning up against a tire of Grissom's Tahoe looking down. He walked over slowly looking at me.

"You okay?" He asked

I slowly nodded.

"Greg will be all right."

I nodded again.

"I have called in Catherine and Nick. Why don't you go home?"

He watched me get up and walk away to my car. When I got home I opened the first cabinet in the kitchen looking at the bottles of liquor I had. I decided to leave the bottles alone and drink some beer in the fridge.

A knocking at my door woke me up from the couch from a dazed beer coma. I stumbled to the door opening it seeing Grissom. He looked me over noticing my hair was messed.

"Did I wake you?"

"Yes." I said

"Sorry."

"What do you want?"

"May I come in?"

I looked behind me seeing the many beers on the coffee table then I looked back at him.

"Just give me a moment." I said, closing the door. I stumbled over grabbing what I could throwing the bottles away then going back for more.

Grissom watched me open the door for him and he slowly stepped in.

"Thank you." He said, looking around.

"What do you want?" I asked, shutting the door.

"I wanted to see if you were all right." He said, looking at me.

"I'm fine." I said, touching my hair as I walked past him almost tripping on the arm of the couch.

"Are you sure?" He asked, walking over to sit beside me.

"Yeah."

We sat in silence as I looked down and he looked ahead.

"Well if there is nothing else I am a wittle tired." I said, standing up.

"A wittle?" Grissom said, standing "Sara are you drunk?"

"Drunk? No!" I said, moving past him.

"Yes you are." He said, following me to the door "I thought we talked about this."

"Grissom, I want to be alone."

"So you can drink again?"

"Goodbye, Grissom."

He looked at me then walked out watching me slam the door in his face. I sighed closing my eyes before walking to the bedroom.

At work the next shift I walked around looking like death. Everyone kept staring at me as I avoided the looks. Grissom came into the morgue seeing Greg and I with Doc. Robbins. We were looking at a body found in the house as Robbins talked to us. Greg had a bandage on his head from the nick wound he received the other shift.

Grissom walked over putting on gloves looking at us as Robbins stopped talking to look at him.

"Grissom, something we can do for you?"

"Sara can I speak to you outside?"

I looked at Greg then I walked out with Grissom into the hallway.

"You can't be on this case." He said

"Because I was drinking?" I asked, mad.

"No, because you shot a suspect. I am taking you off the case."

"Fine, go ahead." I said, walking away. I slammed my locker door sighing as I sat on the bench. Warrick came in seeing me.

"Hey girl." He said, watching me as he opened his locker.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Yeah." I said, getting up walking past him. I went on my way as Grissom stepped out of his office stopping me. I looked down as he searched my face.

"May I see you a moment?"

"Grissom, I am going home."

"In a moment." He said, pulling me in with him. He shut the door facing me.

"What is it?" I asked, looking to the side. He pulled my face to look at him. I watched him come closer and kiss me. Stunned I didn't kiss back as he moved back looking at me. I just stared at him in shock.

"Have a good day off."

"Day off?" I asked, watching him go to his desk.

"I scheduled a night off for you. Take it to rest."

I left still in shock over what had happened. Grissom watched me go with a dazed look on my face.

I laid in bed as shift started looking at the lights outside. Sighing I rolled over looking at my dark room. A knock at the door made me groan as I got up. Grissom stood outside hearing me unlocking the door seeing him.

"Hey." He said, looking down at my dark purple pajamas with jersey cows all over them.

"Why aren't you at work?"

"I took the evening off. Can I come in?"

"Sure….why not?" I said, letting him in.

He came in looking around then he turned looking at me. I closed the door looking at him.

"Drink?"

"No thanks."

His stare made me nervous.

"I'll have one." I said, walking past. He grabbed my arm pulling me to him. I looked at him as he looked at me.

He moved forwards putting his lips on mine. This time I didn't hesitate. My arms went around him as his pulled me closer. For a wonderful moment we were oblivious to the world. He moved back breathing in and out deeply putting his head against mine.

"Sara." He said, in a whisper.

I woke up later with a start as I sat up looking over seeing Grissom sleeping next to me clothed on top of the covers. I looked at the clock seeing it was eight am. Getting up I stared at him trying to remember how we got into this situation. Instead of waking him to ask I walked out into the living room to the kitchen to fix a breakfast.

As I stirred the eggs in the skillet I felt him come over to me and kiss my neck.

"Good morning." He said

I turned looking at him watching him smile sleepily with his hair messed.

"Grissom, how did we end up in bed?"

"You went to sleep as we watched a movie. I carried you into bed and laid down. Do you mind?"

"No."

He touched my hair searching my face.

"Good, I didn't want to leave you alone."

"I'm fine." I said, staring at his lips.

"I am worried about you. You are the only person that makes me nervous. I always ask myself what is she doing and is it safe?"

"I can take care of myself."

"I want to take care of you." He said, moving in to kiss me. I kissed him moaning as he deepened the kiss. The heard the eggs pop behind me. He moved back letting me turn to look at them. His hands went up my arms.

"Your skin is soft."

I turned off the stove turning around to face him again. He kissed me pulling me away from the stove.

"We should eat." I said, as he led me to the bedroom.

"Later." He said.

I came back to work with the memory after the eggs were turned off. He left to go home after a few hours. I went out on a case at a muddy pond in the middle of nowhere looking at David pulled out the body in the water. He yanked one more time letting the body lay on the ground.

"Drowning?" I asked, walking over.

He pulled him over and gasped looking at the tire track impression on his chest.

"Run over by a car looks like and…..shot!" He said, touching a hole on his head.

"Shot?" I said, leaning down.

"Why would someone shoot and run this man over?"

David looked at me.

"That's the age old question."

I shook my head standing. Grissom walked down the hallway with his cell phone out dialing my number. He looked around as people went past.

"Come on Sara." He said

I woke to darkness feeling a bag over my head. I could feel my hands behind my back tied together tightly. The engine of a vehicle was the only thing I could hear until a moan alerted me the fact that I was not alone. Instantly I could feel the person panic when the movement alerted the driver and his friend to us being awake. The vehicle slowed turning then the brakes squealed and the back opened.

"He's awake…..can't tell if she is or not." The man said

"Take them both out." Another man said

I felt the other person being taken out and by the sound of him I knew it was David. The man dragged me out and I kicked him. We were thrown into a room. David breathed fast sitting next to me hearing tape being ripped off and then our legs were taped together. I swallowed feeling dread as our hoods were taken off. David looked over at me relieved that I was okay. The men stood over us talking. I watched them hearing my cell phone in my pocket ring. The one man knelt down struggling with me to get the phone. He took it out looking at the ID.

"Grissom." He said, looking up at the man then at me.

"Answer it." The other said, looking at us.

The man put it to his ear.

"Hello." He said "Yes this is a CSI's phone."

The other man grabbed it listening.

"If you want to see this woman and the ….morgue guy again put two million dollars in a bag and place it on the basketball court in the big park or I will fillet one of them." He said, hanging up.

I glared at them watching as they walked away talking. Dave looked at me obviously frightened.

They nodded and came over to Dave. I struggled as they took him outside. The other man came back in with a small bag. He opened it up and my eyes went wide seeing a syringe loaded with something. He walked over and I shook my head.

"Nap time." He said

I cried out trying to kick him. His grip made me winch as he inserted the needle then he got up leaving.

Grissom had one of his lab techs trace the call he made. Brass watched the big screen alongside Grissom as the lab tech typed showing a grid.

"Looks like the desert." The lab tech said

"I know where that is. About a year ago we arrested and guy out there for drug smuggling. He had two brothers."

"Let's go." Grissom said

The man that attacked me was at a table with his brother playing cards drinking beer. They looked over at me lying on the floor sleeping. Dave sat quietly across the room with a large bruise on his head. He looked over at me then the men.

"Listen." The one guy said

"Sounds like sirens." The other said

"Get the guns."

Dave watched one of them leave while the other came over to him.

"Hey tough guy, you stay quiet or I do something worse to her."

Dave nodded as the man hit his cheek then stood. The sirens got louder as the two men grabbed their guns waiting.

"We better hide them." The leader said

"Where?"

"The van."

They quickly moved us to the van. Dave laid beside me struggling as he listened to cars stopping outside and Brass talking over a megaphone at the house. He got his gag off after working on it.

"Sara….Sara?" He said

I didn't move as he struggled hitting the side of the van.

Brass heard something and directed his men to look inside, but as they moved in shots rang out. Dave stopped hitting the side and laid still as gun shots rang out.

Brass shot at the house looking around ordering his men to move up. Brass stood going to the side of the van shooting as he held his place. He moved to the doors peeking inside the driver's side seeing Dave lying in the back.

The one guy in the house was hit. He withered in agony as his brother shot then went over to him.

"I'm hit!" He said, touching his chest.

"Your going to be all right."

"Yeah." The guy said, as he looked at this brother holding his hand before he died. The guy stood up opening the door holding his gun to his chest. He was ordered to stop, but he lifted his gun pointing at the police and was shot.

"Check him and open this door!" Brass ordered

Grissom phoned for an ambulance that was already on the way. The officers got the doors open and Brass climbed in undoing Dave's wrist and legs.

"You okay Dave?"

"Yeah." Dave said, obviously shaking. Grissom helped him out giving him to some cops then he climbed in as Brass took my gag off.

"Is she alive?" Grissom asked

"Yes, her pulse is slow. I need a paramedic now!"

"They're coming." Someone said, outside.

Grissom cut the tape off my wrist and legs. Grissom helped lift me up taking me outside. The ambulance was pulling up as the EMT's jumped out bringing a gurney. Grissom set me down upon it gently. He watched the EMT's surround me asking him my name then wheeling the gurney away calling my name.

I moved my head hearing a loud beeping sound from somewhere.

"Sara?" A woman called to me "Sara, can you hear me?"

I moaned not able to move my eye lids.

"She's still groggy."

"Will she be all right?"

I recognized Grissom.

"Yes, the doctor will be in to check on her."

"Thank you."

Once again the only sound was the beeping. My hand was picked up and rubbed as a hand went to my hair smoothing it back.

I moved my head again trying to open my eyes. Finally they opened and I could see a very blurry shape. I blinked closing my eyes again opening them to see him still as a blur.

"Sara, you okay?" He asked

"What….beeping?" I asked

He looked past me at the heart machine.

"It's a heart monitor."

I swallowed moving my head over to look at it.

"Stop." I said, reaching out a weak hand to it "Stop."

"Honey, it needs to be on." He said

I moved back to look at him again. He gave me a drink of water from a glass then he climbed onto the bed holding my hand looking at me.

"You should start to feel better soon."

I nodded smiling faintly.

"What?" He asked, smiling a little.

"Did…you…say the sky is red?"

"No."

I closed my eyes sighing hearing the door open as someone walked in.

"Miss. Sidle?" A man called out

I slowly opened my eyes looking at a blurry shape in white.

"Your….white."

"She's going to be groggy for a while as the drug goes through her system. I want to keep her here for a few days then she can go home."

"Who….are…you speaking to?"

"I am speaking to you and Mr. Grissom." He said, louder.

"His name is Besom not that." I said

"Your going to be out of it for a while longer." The doctor said

"Out….of what?"

"I want you to go to sleep and I will be in later to check up on you."

He left us alone. Grissom watched me look up at the ceiling then at him. He sat in a chair pushing it to the bed taking my hand again. I looked at him with a glazed over look.

"Did….you see that dog?"

"What dog?" He asked

I moved my head a little closing my eyes. He sat back rubbing his chin watching me. They let me go a few days later and I had a headache. Grissom stood outside the hospital watching me walk out.

"Can I offer you a ride?"

He drove me to my place pulling into the parking space. I let him take me up and inside my place.

"Thanks." I said, walking to my bedroom. Grissom walked over seeing that I had laid down covering myself with a blanket.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a bad headache." I said

He shut the blinds then I heard him go out and come back in with a glass of water and two pills.

"Here." He said

I took them then I laid down. He laid down with me smoothing my hair.

"When I saw you lying in the back of that van it scared me."

I moved closer to him.

"I love you."

I wanted to say something, but sleep over took me. I woke up hearing a phone. Reaching over I realized I didn't have a phone. Getting up I went out into the living room hearing Grissom talking to someone in the kitchen. He looked over seeing me walk in looking pale with my hair sticking up.

"No, I am not coming in tonight. Okay, bye." He said, hanging up "Hey."

"What are you doing?"

"I made some vegetarian pasta that is baking."

"You have to work."

"I called in. Unless it is a life or death situation I am not going in." He said, walking over to me.

"I feel silly as if I am taking you away from work."

"Sara, your not. I want to be here with you." He said

I searched his face then I hugged him.

"By the way I love you to."

"I didn't think you heard me."

"I did."

He moved back kissing me. After dinner we camped out in front of the TV watching a movie. Grissom sat up watching intently as I laid my head on a pillow on his lap. He rubbed my back up and down making me feel relaxed.

"When you watch movies about forensics it all looks fake." I said

He nodded reaching for his phone that was going off.

"Grissom."

I moved facing him reaching up with my hand undoing his shirt buttons. He reached up stopping me as he held my hand. Smiling I moved up kissing his chest where I had undone the buttons.

"No, I think we should both talk to him Catherine." He said, trying to concentrate "I'll come in. I'll be there within the hour."

He hung up watching me sit up looking at him.

"I have to go in."

"Troubles?"

"Ecklie."

"Double trouble." I said

He moved me onto the couch kissing me. He kissed my neck and everywhere else then he got up leaving me.

He came back hours later. I was watching TV as he let himself in. He walked over to me sitting in the chair. I turned off the TV sitting up looking at me.

"You have that Grissom look on your face."

"What look?"

"That I am afraid I have to fire you look."

He sighed rubbing his face.

"Ecklie wants me to suspend you."

"What? Why?" I asked, standing up.

"Sit down." He said

I sat down slowly.

"There is going to be an investigation on your last case. Ecklie wants to investigate what happened. He said there is a possibility that you could lose your job."

I looked at the coffee table then I got up going into the kitchen. Grissom followed seeing that I had a bottle of Jack Daniels trying to open it.

"Sara, no!" He said, taking it out of my hands placing it on the counter "Honey, I will not let you start drinking over this. Nor will I allow you to be fired."

"Grissom I don't remember what happened." I said, wiping my eyes "It's all a blur until I woke up in the van."

"You have to try."

I nodded wiping my tears. I laid awake in bed trying to think. Closing my eyes I began to dream about the kidnapping. One of the men was leaning over me talking to me. I sat up in bed breathing in and out fast.

Ecklie ordered me to come in and sit in his office. Grissom and another man came in sitting down. I looked back at Grissom who sat behind me in a chair. Ecklie and the man sat down watching me.

"CSI Sara Sidle we are opening an investigation about your work performance on the night of September 12. There are allegations that you failed to listen to orders. You failed to do so and put other people's lives in danger."

I stared at him speechless.

"If the investigation is justified you will be terminated. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I said

"Now tell us what happened on that shift?" The other man asked

I swallowed shifting in my seat.

"I went to the scene and walked to the pond where I saw a body of a deceased man floating in the water. I took pictures and looked around for the evidence around the pond area. David Phillips pulled the body out of the water."

"Who is this David Phillips?" The man asked, looking at Ecklie.

"He is assistant to Doctor Robbins in the morgue." Ecklie said

"All right, please continue."

"He examined the body concluding that the man had been run over and shot in the head." I said "I stood up and left him with the body."

"Why?" Ecklie asked

"Something caught my attention. I saw what looked like a tire in the sand above the pond, but as I looked at it….I realized that it was a car."

"A car in the sand?" The man asked

"Yes, I was walking over to it beginning to take pictures and….."

"What?" Ecklie asked

"I can't remember anything after that except waking up in the van."

"When you were there with this David Phillips were there policemen with you?" The man asked

"Yes, two uniformed officers. They stood nearby."

"Okay from what we are understanding you walked away leaving David alone at a crime scene which is against policy." Ecklie said, sitting back in his chair.

"No, I didn't he was in my sight." I said

"You left just the same." The man said "There are reports that you left the scene to go on a long walk."

"I didn't." I said, getting excited.

"Please let me finish. You walked away and left the scene that is a very unprofessional thing to do. It's not just that that you are here for. There are also rumors about your relationship with Supervisor Grissom."

I looked at the man hearing Grissom stand up.

"Mr. Grissom sit down."

Grissom sat down slowly.

"What is your relationship with Mr. Grissom?"

"I….we are coworkers."

"Have you ever embraced in this building? Has he ever touched you inappropriately? Has he ever offered you a ride home?"

I felt my pulse race as Ecklie stared me down.

"No." I said

They looked at each other.

"May I explain to you that the truth that is withheld can ruin your career?"

"I am telling you the truth. Supervisor Grissom has never touched me or offered me a ride. I would trust him with my life and he is the best boss I have had. If you don't mind I need to leave."

I ran to the door running out. Ecklie stood running out to chase me down. Grissom followed seeing he had caught me and we were having a heated discussion outside the ladies room.

"Do you want to have a month suspension without pay?"

"Ecklie your words do not scare me."

"Get out of my sight and you know what I want you to clean out your locker and get out." He said, walking the other way. I ran to the locker opening it getting my things. Grissom came in watching me slam it shut then I walked past him.

"Hey." He said, pulling me back "Calm down."

"No, I can't do this." I said, running out.

He called me several times desperate to talk to me. I sat drinking on the couch feeling very intoxicated. The door opened and Grissom came in walking over looking at the bottles all around me. I looked at him in a dazed state.

"Well….look who it is?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" He asked, motioning to the phone next to me.

"I….was busy." I said

"You think drinking is the answer?" He asked

"It helps." I said, reaching over for another beer on the coffee table "Have one."

"No thanks." He said, clearing a spot near me on the couch sitting down. He took my bottle out of my hands looking at it. I reached for it but he took it out of my reach.

"I….am celebrating….not having a job."

"You still have a job." He said, getting up going to the kitchen.

"No, I don't." I said, trying to stand.

"I talked to Ecklie. He wants you to work day shift on probation." He said, as he made coffee.

I didn't answer back.

"Sara?" He called, turning on the machine. He walked out seeing me lying on the couch past out. He sighed looking at me.

I moved jerking as a harsh light blinded me. Moaning I heard someone walking around the room. My blankets were thrust off me and then I heard the shower. I was yanked from the bed and taken in the bathroom. The water was cold waking me up quickly. Grissom gave me a towel. I stumbled out of the bathroom to the living room where I noticed was clean. I smelled food which turned my stomach. Grissom put a plate in front of me as I sat at the counter. He put two pills and some juice beside it.

"I don't feel like eating."

"Your going to work so you had better try to eat."

"Work? I was fired." I said

"Ecklie wants you on day shift. You job starts today."

I groaned holding my head.

"Hurry up." He said

I ate what I could then I dressed. He left after making sure I was getting in my car. Ecklie stood outside looking at his watch as he waited for me to come. I walked over looking at him.

"You are a minute late."

"I am sorry." I said

"Okay your on day shift now. You mess up once and you are out of here. You have your former supervisor to thank for getting your job back. Not that he will be here much longer then you won't have someone to protect you."

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Didn't he tell you? He agreed to leave at the end of the month." He said, before walking in the building. I stood there with my mouth open in shock. At break I sat in the locker room as my stomach ached from the strain of Grissom leaving. I threw up shortly after going back to work. Grissom came to work opening his office doors. He put his briefcase on his desk I came down the hall holding my burning stomach as I was leaving. Walking over to his office I watched him look at some mail he had in his hands. He looked over at me giving me a smile.

"Hey, how was work?"

When I didn't answer he looked over seeing that I was holding my stomach with my head against his door.

"Sara, you okay?" He asked, walking over.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked

"Tell you what?"

I lifted my head looking at him.

"Ecklie told me you promised to leave at the end of the month."

He looked down sighing. I winched as my stomach churned.

"You didn't have to do that!" I said

"Sara, come and sit down." He said, touching my arm.

I shook my head making him let me go.

"No." I said, backing up.

"Sara."

I shook my head running away. He looked after me worried. I came home stumbling to the bathroom throwing up. The front door opened and I hurriedly lock the bathroom door.

"Sara?" He called "Sara?"

I wiped my eyes sitting on the floor hearing him knocking.

"Honey, let me in."

"No."

"Please Sara. Your scaring me."

He jiggled the door knocking. I looked at the door sighing.

"Honey I just want to talk to you that is all."

"Why?"

"Sara, please."

"I messed up." I said

"No you didn't."

"If I hadn't…..been here you would still have a job."

"I don't want to hear that. I wanted you here. I needed you here."

I stared at the sink. He listened leaning his head against the door.

"Sara?"

I closed my eyes.

"Sara, talk to me."

He listened as the lock clicked and I opened the door looking at him. He took in my pale face with red eyes.

I sat on the couch holding some hot tea in a blue mug as he did next to me. He watched me silently.

"I think I am going to leave." I said

"Leave?"

"Yeah, I am going back to San Francisco."

He watched a tear go down my cheek.

"That way you can go back to work."

He reached over taking my hand.

"Sara, I didn't say I would quit because of this. I was offered a job doing lectures."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"I don't know."

I wiped my eyes looking at him.

"You were not going to tell me until it was time."

He didn't say a thing.

"Well you should go then. I'll be fine." I said, standing going to the kitchen. He sighed coming over to me.

"I was going to discuss it with you sooner than that."

I leaned against the counter looking down at it.

"I think we should stop seeing each other."

"What?" He asked

I turned around looking at him.

"Grissom, I have spent many years in love with you. I have been hurt and always come back because I felt someday you would come around, but it you do this there can't be a future for us."

"Sara, I love you. Nothing will change that." He said, touching my cheek.

I lifted my hand to his pulling it off my cheek.

"I love you, but unless you decide to commit I can't let myself be hurt again."

He watched me walk past him to my bedroom shutting the door.

Three months later Grissom walked across a university in Boston as he put the cell phone to his ear.

"Hello Jim."

"Hey Gil, teaching anyone anything?"

"I think so. How's work?" He asked, as he continued walking across a courtyard.

"Busy, crime doesn't take a day off."

"Yeah, how is Sara?" He asked, feeling the ache in his heart.

"That's what I called about."

"What's wrong?" He asked, stopping as he concentrated.

"Well you know Sara. She works till she falls over then she works again."

"Jim?"

Brass sighed as he sat at his desk.

"She's drinking again."

"How bad?"

"Bad, I know she can only be days away from a total collapse. Not sleeping, barely eating."

Grissom sighed closing his eyes.

"Ecklie is not helping. He put her on cases that should have more than one person. Instead it's just her."

"Should I come back?"

"The way the climate is I think you should come this minute."

"Okay, I'll call Ecklie. Don't tell anyone I am coming."

"You got it."

Grissom hung up looking around then he dialed the phone walking on. Brass walked into the locker room seeing me lying on the bench sleeping. He walked over looking at my almost white skin and thin arms. He leaned over me shaking my arm.

"Sara….hey Sara." He said

I moved sitting up looking at him.

"You okay?" He asked, kneeling down.

I slowly nodded scratching my thin arm.

"Why don't we go eat at this little diner I know?"

"Thank's Jim, but I ought to go home."

"My treat."

I smiled faintly at him as I stood.

"No thanks."

He watched me leave sadly.

I jumped awake as my cell phone went off on the bed. I found it as I laid still.

"Sidle."

"Sara, I need you to come in." Ecklie said

"But I just got home." I said

"I am calling everyone. There's been a plane crash. I need you to go to Bryson Road about ten miles out of Las Vegas."

"All right."

I hung up getting up feeling dizzy. Falling onto the bed I shook my head getting up again. The plane fire lit up the sky. I drove up seeing cop cars flickering. Getting my case I walked to where a group of CSI's were awaiting orders.

"Does everyone understand their orders?" Catherine asked

I started to raise my hand when a voice stopped me cold.

"Where do you want me?"

I took a breath turning seeing Grissom in a CSI coat. He looked at me then at Catherine. She smiled motioning him over. He walked past me nodding to some people. He came back after a moment looking at me.

"Your with me."

I let him lead me away from the group to his car. I said nothing as he took my case putting it into the trunk then he went around opening the passenger side for me. I went in as he closed it he climbed into the driver's side pulling away. I stared at him the entire drive as he glanced at me. He stopped at a diner parking then got out leading me inside.

"We'd like a two vegetarian omelets and two cups of coffee." He said, to the waitress.

He looked at me across the table.

"I came into town at three." He said

"You are working again?"

"Yes, I decided that lectures can wait."

I looked down at the placemat.

"Sara?" He said, sitting up more "Are you all right?"

"It's funny, when you went away I thought I'll just get on with my life, but somehow when you went I started to go downhill."

He nodded understanding.

"I can't go back to what I was before. I need you." I said

"I know, I need you to."

I looked at him then down. He put me back in the Tahoe moving over helping me with my seat belt. I looked at him as he did me. His lips came to mine then his hand went to my neck pushing me closer to him.

I could feel the month's worth of passion in his kiss. He moved back breathing fast looking around then at me.

"We…should get back." I said, just as breathless.

"Your right." He said

I leaned over a piece of tire in the woods logging it in as workers walked around searching as the daylight hours appeared. Catherine came over kneeling down.

"Need to sleep?"

"I'm fine." I said, rubbing my face taking a breath.

"How long since you slept?"

"I don't know."

"Sara, you need to sleep. Why don't you go home and sleep an hour then come back."

"No, I'll sleep later."

"All right." She said, getting up walking away. I watched her go then I looked back at the paper.

A few hours later I walked over to the cars to load up some evidence I collected. I shut the trunk taking hold of the back when my vision went dark.

"Hey Sara." Greg called, walking over with a bag "You okay?"

"Yeah." I said, shaking my head "What do you need?"

"Can I put this in your trunk?" He asked, holding up a bag.

"Sure." I said, opening the back. He put the bag in then I closed it. I walked around working looking for anything else. Grissom walked over with a hat on. He knelt down watching as I picked up a shard of metal. I put it in a manila envelope getting up again.

"Sara, you should take a break."

"No, I feel fine." I said, walking past. He sighed standing watching me.

I sat down in the back of my Tahoe looking at the lights of the police cars. Grissom walked over sitting beside me. He looked at my profile seeing the dark circles around my eyes. It was eight pm as we stopped. I walked back from the crash site to the cars. Grissom and Catherine talked together mapping out the plan.

"Gil." Catherine said, motioning to me. I was kneeling down in the road.

"We'll talk later." He said, leaving her to come over to me "Sara?"

I looked up at him watching him kneel down to me.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing….I just felt dizzy."

"I'm going to take you home."

"I drove." I said, as he helped me up.

"Where are your keys? He asked

"My right pocket." I said

He looked at me as he dug into my pocket. I smiled faintly as he got the keys throwing them to Catherine. Then he took my arm leading me into his car. I got in closing my eyes holding my head with my hand. He helped me in with the seat belt then started the car. He parked outside of my place. He turned to me seeing I was asleep against the window.

"Sara?" He called, reaching over to touch my arm. I never moved as he rubbed my skin. "Sara, we are at your house."

He sighed seeing that I was not going to budge. The car door opened as he got out coming around to my side carefully opening the door he caught me as I slid out. Picking me up he took me up the stairs to my door. I moved when he laid me down on my bed.

"Gil?" I said, not opening my eyes.

"You need to sleep." He said, pulling up the blankets after he took off my shoes. I moved deeper in the pillows feeling him kiss my head.

I woke hours after thinking it had been a dream. I sat up looking around the dimly lit room. My hair was messed from sleep. I stood up feeling sick with a headache as I went out into the living room. When I walked out I stopped seeing Grissom sleeping on the couch. I walked over to him watching his chest move up and down slowly. His head moved as he took a long breath. I watched his eyes open seeing me.

"Hey." He said

"Your real?"

"I believe so. Are you all right?"

"Yes."

He sat up pulling me down to sit facing him.

"Then why can I tell you are lying?"

"I just have a headache."

"Because you have not eaten for a while."

"Did you come here to nag me ?" I asked, standing up. He pulled me down again.

"I didn't come back to nag you. I came back because I was worried about you. Brass said…"

"Oh here we go." I said, looking down shaking my head.

"Sara, look at me."

I raised my head looking at him sighing.

"Brass called me and said you are drinking again."

"You don't have to worry. I stopped."

"So if I look in the cabinets there won't be any bottles?"

"I don't care what you do!" I said, standing going to my bedroom slamming the door.

He came in seeing me in bed covered in blankets. He slid into the bed putting an arm around me.

"I'm sorry." I said

"I'm sorry."

I turned looking at him.

"Gris, I know I said that we should not be together, but I really want to be with you."

"I want to be with you to." He said, smoothing my hair.

I put my head against his chest feeling him hold me. He kissed my head whispering that he loved me. After eating we went to the lab. I smiled at him as he opened the front door for me. He smiled to watching as I walked through. The entire lab worked on the crash. I went back to the sight looking around with Catherine.

Ecklie stood at the door waiting on us.

"Hello Conrad." Catherine said

"Hey, Sara can I talk to you?"

"Sure." I said, giving Catherine a bag. He led me into his office closing the door.

"What's up?"

"I understand you left the scene the on Tuesday night."

"Yes, I hadn't eaten and Grissom made me go and eat."

"I expect you to stay at your job until you are finished."

"Ecklie, I work harder than anyone here. I take double even triple shifts without food, but I needed a break."

"We all work hard, Sara, I don't want this to happen again."

"Is that it?"

"Yes, get out." He said, sitting down in his chair.

I sighed leaving. Catherine watched me walk into the garage noisily slapping on my gloves.

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah." I said, unfeeling walking past.

Grissom glanced at me as he drove me to his place after shift. I followed him inside watching him close the door. He turned and I pushed him against the door kissing him. He dropped his case putting his arms around me.

He moved back seeing the hunger in my eyes.

"You seem to be in a better mood."

"I am glad you took tonight off."

He kissed me again.

"Hungry?" He asked

"Not for food." I said, pulling him with me to his bedroom. I woke up at six feeling him sleeping beside me. Leaving a note I went home dressing for day shift.

I felt lighter that day. Grissom loved me and was going to stay. I worked till it was time to leave walking over to see him in his office. Only he was not in. I walked in looking around to turn around seeing him come in with papers. He smiled at me walking over putting the paper's on his desk.

"Going home?" He asked

"Yeah."

"Good day?" He asked, looking at me.

I nodded smiling some.

"You look better."

"Thank's to you." I said, moving closer to him.

He looked out into the hallway leaving me to close the door. I walked over kissing him as he put his arms on my waist.

"Why don't we get married?" He asked

"Married?" I asked, moving back.

"Yeah, are you against it?"

"No, I just think that is a big step."

"Yes it is, but I think we are ready."

I thought about it looking at him.

"All right."

"Good then we are engaged."

"Looks that way." I said, smiling.

He kissed me then opened the door pushing me out. I smiled leaving feeling we were moving forward finally.


End file.
